「死後」走好：積極「談生死」，「逝者之家」成「市民之家」｜A “Good Goodbye”: Embracing Dialogues on Mortality and Redefining Cemeteries as Community Spaces
某種程度上，「死亡」在香港仍是一個禁忌話題，而墳場及靈灰安置所也就是「逝者之家」，仍徘徊於城市的「邊緣地帶」或「灰色地帶」。上篇吉人吉事回顧了香港殯葬服務的現況及困境，發現「生死教育」是目前最欠缺也是最重要的部分，本篇將用實際案例展示「場所」如何促進「生死教育」的發生，其實這些「場所」可以很多樣，可以是傳統學校、城市角落、文化中心、社區中心，甚至可以是被大家摒棄的「墳場」。
社區「客廳」談生死–來自死亡咖啡館的啟示
試問，是否都有這樣的經驗：長輩若與自己談身後事，第一反應永遠是逃避，或是直接說「傻嘅咩你！做咩話自己就嚟死？𦧲口水講過！」；如若自己嘗試詢問長輩想如何處理身後事時，會被責罵「你咒我死呀而家？」。「死亡」是個很多人都不願面對，甚至閉口不談的話題，但造成這樣局面的不只是社會對「死亡」話題的逃避，城市也在有意識地排擠「死亡」空間。
「死亡咖啡館」（Death Café）[1]，源於英國，是一家「社會特許經營店」，自二零一一年開幕至今，全球範圍內已有超過兩萬家。這裡沒有工作人員，也沒有特定的主題或者議程，市民可在此一起吃些茶點，亦可敞開心扉「談生死」。台灣亦視「死亡咖啡館」為一種可以直接「談論死亡」的平台，形式不拘，可以是討論、講座、活動，或是一些遊戲如桌遊、情景劇。在香港，曾經有由九零後主理的獨立書店「義守書社」每月舉行一次免費的「死亡咖啡館」活動，邀請客人分享「何謂好好生活」，以及獲得香港大學社會科學院啟動的「思別雅座」，亦在各社區中開展「談生死」活動。
「死亡咖啡館」遍佈城市中的各個角落，包括人們的居所、鄰里咖啡店、音樂廳、藝術館，甚至還出現在墓地，其就像一個沒有邊界的「客廳」，不管放在城市中的哪一處，都能吸引人們在此一聚，如若城市中多些這樣積極談論「死亡」的空間，那麼對「死亡」空間的包容是否變得更有可能。
「墳場」變「市民之家」的全球實踐
「墳場」還可以是？–「大學城、城市綠洲、植物博物館、公眾文化中心、郊野公園」…
「大學城」及「城市綠洲」—The Woodlands Cemetery
這個位於美國的墓地佔地約二十公頃，毗鄰繁華的費城科學大學城，由於其獨特的歷史和豐富的自然資源而被指定為國家歷史地標，許多當地學者、居民及學生們都積極參與推廣具當地特色歷史及建築。墳場裡除了原有的自然綠植，還專門設置了種植籃，讓每片墓地都有植物花草包圍。這主要歸功於「墓地園藝師」（The Woodlands Grave Gardeners），由約一百五十名志願園丁跟進參與，每個園丁負責一個墳墓，在種植籃內種植本土植物，並須照顧整個生長週期，亦會帶領親友在此一起做園藝，作為一種紀念先人的方式，園區內還設置了社區花園，供社區居民到此聚集交談。除此之外，這裡曾經是著名植物學家和收藏家的莊園，該墳場內還配有「學習果園」教育中心（Pholadelphia Orchard Project, POP），一方面為推廣地區歷史，另一方面為社區提供教育及環境互動的空間，該園區種植了各種最新引進的一年生作物、果樹、多年生草本植物及花卉，並且設計了專門的植物學習網站。
「植物博物館」—Spring Grove Cemetery
位於美國俄亥俄州，佔地約三百公頃，此墳場中近三分之二的土地被保護為一個模範植物園區，且有近四公頃的自然保護區，十個天然湖泊，以及一千多種植物物種，甚至還把地名更新為「Spring Grove Cemetery and Arboretum」。該墓地作為城市綠洲，提供市民聚集賞景，也成為該區最受歡迎的旅遊景點之一。
「公眾文化中心」—Hollywood Forever Cemetery
這個位於美國荷里活的墓地佔地約二十公頃，毗鄰派拉蒙影城，也是夜生活及電影娛樂愛好者的熱門打卡地。該墓地中的一個空置草坪竟成為觀看露天電影及音樂節的場所，亦成為拉丁裔社區慶祝亡靈節的聚集地，吸引了約三萬名遊客前來。除此之外，也會給社區內舉辦的瑜伽、冥想等活動提供空間。
「郊野公園」—台北福德坑環保復育公園
該墳場位於台北的郊區，園區內種植了市民近年很喜歡打卡的落羽松，及寵物殯葬區，鼓勵人們使用「自然葬」。除此之外另設有廣場、滑草場、遙控飛行場等供市民休閒遊樂。園區兼具樹葬、環保、景觀及生態復育之功能。
「墳場」亦可以融入城市規劃系統
「城市娛樂景觀」—Fairmount Cemetery
該墳場擔當了社區中心的功能，亦是知名「Cherry Creek Trail」的出入口之一。「Cherry Creek Trail」是一條長約七十二公里的步道，也是美國丹佛都會區及其他地區的重要步道，深受步行愛好者、騎行者及溜冰者的歡迎。這條小徑設於溪流邊，會穿過不同的城市景觀，如公園、購物區、特色街區、歷史遺址、露營地等等，而其中一個就是「Fairmount Cemetery」。這樣的設定從一開始就將此墓地定位為「社區資產」，邀請公眾在此慢跑、野餐、騎車等等，具備多用途的城市功能。
「市民之家」—Aoyama Cemetery
位於日本東京的青山靈園，早於十九世紀末向公眾開放，歷史久遠且具有豐厚的文化價值，與其說是「逝者之家」，不如說是「市民之家」，其更像一個市中心的花園，完全融入城市紋理，城市功能齊全，距離繁華的六本木和原宿很近，城市服務設施（如地鐵站、便利店、運動場、美術館等等）僅幾步之遙。在高密度的東京，該墓地允許舉辦文化活動及社區活動，不僅是一個安靜的追思場所，還是人們散步休閒的好地方。園區內種滿市民最愛的櫻花樹，每當賞花季，這裡又變成熱門景點，一個兼具歷史和文化的「市民之家」。
在香港，最常用的安葬地點是山上密密麻麻的墳場和骨灰龕場，儘管近年來政府極力推廣「紀念花園葬」，但這些「逝者之家」仍然徘徊於城市邊緣，游離城市景觀之外，僅有逝者親友定期探訪。放眼全球，針對「逝者之家」，已有上述案例成功將以往灰色的「墳場」轉變爲「積極空間」，承載城市功能例如教育、休閒等等，讓「逝者之家」不再被人們孤立於城市之外，甚至成為「市民之家」。
「死亡」空間亦是城市「核心」，「場所」塑造深刻的「生死教育」
前文提到的「死亡咖啡館」如同城市「客廳」一般邀請人們在此積極談論生死，而變成「市民之家」的墳場，也不再是陰沉的「逝者之家」，能在這樣富有生機的「場所」自由地談論生死、休閒玩樂，這又何嘗不是一種最深刻的「生死教育」？由塑造「場所」，到引發公眾討論「死後意願」、「綠色殯葬」、「預先登記」等話題，亦可促進殯葬服務及土地利用的可持續發展，讓逝者不再面臨流離失所的困境，亦能安息在熟悉的環境中，而不再位於無人問津的「城市邊緣」，真正讓逝者「走好」。
註:
[1] 死亡咖啡館於二零一一年九月在英國東部 Jon Underwood 的家中開幕。其後迅速蔓延至歐洲、北美、澳洲甚至亞洲。截止目前，已在九十三個國家開設了兩萬多家死亡咖啡館。
In Hong Kong, death remains a subject that people generally avoid. Cemeteries and columbariums—often referred to as the “homes of the departed”—continue to occupy the fringes of urban life, both literally and metaphorically. The previous articles in this series examined the current state and challenges of Hong Kong's funeral services, emphasising the critical yet underdeveloped area of death education. This piece explores how physical spaces can facilitate conversations about life and death. These spaces are not limited to traditional schools, urban nooks, cultural centers, or community hubs—they could even include cemeteries, which are often shunned.
A Living Room for the Community: Death Cafés and Their Lessons
Consider this scenario: when an elder initiates a conversation about their end-of-life wishes, the immediate response is often avoidance or dismissal—“Why are you talking nonsense? Don’t jinx it!” If you try to broach the subject yourself, you might be accused of wishing them harm—“Are you cursing me?” Death is a topic that many people are unwilling to face or even acknowledge. But this avoidance is not just a social phenomenon; it is also reflected in how urban spaces deliberately push death-related venues to the margins.
Enter the concept of the Death Café [1], which originated in the UK as a social franchise in 2011. Since its inception, over 20,000 Death Cafés have opened worldwide. These cafés are unique in that they have no staff, no set themes, and no formal agendas. Instead, they provide a space where people can gather, enjoy refreshments, and openly discuss life and death. In Taiwan, Death Cafés have been embraced as platforms for open dialogue on mortality, with formats ranging from discussions and lectures to workshops, games, and role-playing activities. Similarly, in Hong Kong, independent bookstores like Stay Within Bookspace (義守書社), run by millennials, host free monthly Death Café events where participants discuss what it means to live well. Another initiative, Death Cafe HK (思別雅座), launched by the University of Hong Kong’s Faculty of Social Sciences, organises community-based conversations about life and death.
Death Cafés can take root in a variety of urban settings, from private homes and neighborhood coffee shops to music halls, art galleries, and even cemeteries. They function as boundary-free “living rooms” that encourage gathering and dialogue, regardless of their physical location. If cities were to integrate more spaces like these—where people can openly and positively discuss death—perhaps our collective understanding and acceptance of death-related spaces would grow, fostering a more inclusive urban landscape.
Cemeteries as Community Spaces: Global Cases of Transformation
What else can a cemetery be? Imagine it as a university campus, urban oasis, botanical museum, cultural hub, or even a nature park.
University Campus and Urban Oasis: The Woodlands Cemetery, Philadelphia, US
The Woodlands Cemetery spans 20 hectares and sits adjacent to the bustling University City neighbourhood. Designated as a National Historic Landmark due to its unique history and rich natural resources, the cemetery actively engages local scholars, residents, and students in preserving its historical and architectural heritage.
Beyond its historic charm, the cemetery is a lush green space. It features custom-designed planting baskets, allowing each gravesite to be surrounded by vibrant flora. This initiative is led by the Woodlands Grave Gardeners, a group of 150 volunteer horticulturists. Each participant adopts a grave, planting native flowers and plants while nurturing them through their entire growth cycle. Families and friends often join in the gardening activities, transforming this act of remembrance into a communal experience.
The cemetery also hosts a community garden where locals gather to socialise. Once the estate of a renowned botanist and collector, the cemetery now houses the Philadelphia Orchard Project (POP), an educational center that bridges history and environmental engagement. POP features an orchard filled with fruit trees, perennial herbs, flowers, and newly introduced crops. It also offers an interactive botanical website, enriching the community’s understanding of plants and sustainability.
Botanical Museum: Spring Grove Cemetery, Ohio, US
The Spring Grove Cemetery spans 300 hectares, two-thirds of which have been converted into an exemplary botanical garden. With nearly 4 hectares of nature reserves, 10 natural lakes, and over 1,000 plant species, the cemetery has been officially renamed Spring Grove Cemetery and Arboretum.
As an urban oasis, it not only provides a tranquil retreat for visitors but has also become one of the region’s most popular tourist destinations. Visitors come to admire the diverse plant life, scenic landscapes, and the integration of nature with memorial spaces.
Cultural Hub: Hollywood Forever Cemetery, Los Angeles, US
Situated in the heart of Hollywood, this 20-hectare cemetery lies next to Paramount Studios and has become a buzzing cultural hotspot. A lawn within the cemetery has been repurposed into a venue for outdoor movie screenings and music festivals, attracting a vibrant crowd of film and entertainment enthusiasts.
The cemetery also serves as a gathering place for the local Latinx community during the annual Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) celebrations, drawing as many as 30,000 attendees. Additionally, it provides space for community wellness activities like yoga and meditation, blending remembrance with modern urban life.
Nature Park: Fudekeng Environmental Restoration Park (福德坑環保復育公園), Taipei, Taiwan
Fudekeng Environmental Restoration Park, located on the outskirts of Taipei, has been transformed into a multifunctional recreational space. The park is known for its picturesque bald cypress trees, which have become a favorite photo spot for visitors. It also features a dedicated pet burial area, promoting natural burials and eco-friendly practices.
The park incorporates a variety of leisure facilities, including plazas, grass-sliding fields, and areas for flying remote-controlled planes. Combining tree burials, environmental preservation, scenic landscapes, and ecological restoration, Fudekeng Environmental Restoration Park offers a harmonious space that balances remembrance with recreation.
Cemeteries as Part of Urban Planning
An Urban Recreational Landscape: Fairmount Cemetery, Denver, US
Fairmount Cemetery doubles as a community hub and serves as one of the entry points to the famous Cherry Creek Trail. This 72-kilometer trail is a beloved recreational path in the Denver metropolitan area, popular among walkers, cyclists, and skaters. The trail follows a creek and passes through diverse urban landscapes, including parks, shopping districts, historic sites, and campgrounds—Fairmount Cemetery being one of them.
Right from the start, Fairmount Cemetery was designed as a “community asset”, inviting the public to jog, picnic, or cycle within its grounds. By integrating into the broader urban recreational network, the cemetery serves as more than a final resting place—it contributes to the city’s functionality and vibrancy.
A “Home for All”: Aoyama Cemetery, Tokyo, Japan
Aoyama Cemetery was established in the late 19th century, and is steeped in history and cultural significance. Rather than being a secluded space for the departed, it functions as a “home for all”, blending seamlessly into Tokyo’s urban fabric. Located near bustling districts like Roppongi and Harajuku, the cemetery is surrounded by city amenities such as subway stations, convenience stores, sports facilities, and art museums—all just a short walk away.
In densely populated Tokyo, Aoyama Cemetery allows for cultural and community events, making it not just a quiet place for remembrance but also a popular spot for casual strolls and relaxation. The cemetery’s famed cherry trees draw crowds during blossom season, turning it into a vibrant destination. Aoyama Cemetery is more than a resting place—it’s a historical, cultural, and recreational hub that serves the living just as much as the dead.
In Hong Kong, cemeteries and columbariums are often densely packed into hilly, remote areas, remaining largely disconnected from urban life. Despite the government’s recent efforts to promote memorial gardens as alternatives for burial, these spaces—referred to as “homes of the departed”—still linger on the periphery of the cityscape, visited only by the families of the deceased.
Looking at global examples like Fairmount and Aoyama, there is a clear opportunity to transform Hong Kong’s cemeteries into active urban spaces. By incorporating functions like education and recreation, these spaces could become places of connection and engagement, breaking free from their traditional isolation.
Reframing Cemeteries as Educational and Sustainable Spaces
Spaces for the dead can also serve as centers for life education. Just as the concept of Death Cafés provides a living room-like setting for open conversations about life and death, cemeteries reimagined as “homes for all” can become places where people reflect, learn, and engage with life’s ultimate questions.
By creating vibrant, multifunctional spaces, cemeteries can foster discussions about end-of-life wishes, green burial practices, and pre-planning arrangements. These conversations not only enrich public understanding of mortality but also promote sustainable land use and funeral practices. Such transformations ensure that the departed rest in familiar, cared-for environments, no longer relegated to the city’s forgotten edges.
Remarks:
[1] The first Death Café opened in September 2011 at the home of Jon Underwood in East England. Since then, it has rapidly spread across Europe, North America, Australia, and even Asia. To date, over 20,000 Death Cafés have been established in 93 countries.
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